Translation with Commentary of the prologue and the first seven poems of the chore poem “for colored girls who have considered suicide/ when the rainbow is enuf”

Details

Written by Stavroula Moysiadou

Abstract

In the framework of the master “Translation, Communication, and Publishing”, the present thesis was conducted, as far as the translation with commentary (when translating a text, and commenting on the choices made during the process of translating (The Map, page 7)) of the chore poem “for colored girls who have considered suicide/ when the rainbow is enuf” is concerned. This is the first time this play is translated in Greek. It is about a chore poem, constituted by twenty autonomous poems, surrounded by dancing and music. Seven black women present their everyday lives and the cruelty of that time, through their experiences in racism, violence, physical abuse, abortion. Written in 1974, by Ntozake Shange, an American playwright and poet.

During the play’s translation, several translation difficulties came up, due to the play’s particularities regarding the language and the theme of the play, which are based on a totally different civilization compared to the Greek one.

Considering the regulation of the current master, the first seven of the twenty poems were translated.

Key words: Translation, Commentary, Theatre, Poem, Chore poem

Index

Introduction
Source text-Text translated into Greek
Translation difficulties and solutions
Conclusion
Photo archive
References

Introduction

The thesis regarding the translation with commentary of the play, yet not translated into Greek, “for colored girls who have considered suicide/ when the rainbow is enuf”, was conducted within the framework of the master program “Translation, Communication and Publishing”, of the School of Italian Language and Literature of Aristotle University of Thessaloniki, during 2015-2016.

About the author

Paulette Williams was born in 18th October 1948, in Trenton, New Jerseyⁱ. Poet, writer and playwright, she moves to New York where she studies American Studies in Barnard College in 1970, and then, in Los Angeles, at the University of Southern California (USC)ⁱⁱ. At the same time, she changes her name to Ntozake Shange, which reflects her personality, as “Ntozake” in Xhosa means “she who comes into her own things”ⁱⁱⁱ and “Shange” “she who walks like a lion”^iv. Pieces of her work are: “Ridin’ the Moon in;Texas”, “From Okra to Greens”, “A Daughter’s Geography”, “Three Pieces”, “for colored girls who have considered suicide/ when the rainbow is enuf”.

About the play

“for colored girls who have considered suicide/when the rainbow is enuf” is a chore poem which consists of twenty poems about abuse, racism, rape, abortion, and the cruel conditions black women had to face during 70’s in America. The chore poem is written in English, with African-American elements added, and it has not officially been translated into Greek so far. During this thesis, the prologue and the first seven poems were translated into Greek. The prologue introduces the protagonists, the seven ladies; lady in brown describes how it feels to be a black woman. Then, each of them mentions where they come from, and then they all sing and dance. The first poem is about lady in red’s first sexual experience at graduation night. In the second poem, lady in blue talks to the ladies in yellow and green about the marathon dances she has participated in, and about her love to jazz. Lady in red, in the third poem, admits that her eight-month relationship was a total failure, and she decides to give an end to it. Lady in orange, expresses her love for dancing in the forth poem. In the fifth poem, the ladies in red, blue and purple discuss how the nature of rape has changed, as the rapist is not a stranger anymore. In the sixth poem lady in blue confesses her abortion experience. In the seventh poem, life of Sechita is presented.

The source text choice

The choice of this specific chore poem was quite easy, as it was one of the plays I most preferred during my Bachelor Studies, attending the class of “American Theatre”. The chore poem has not been officially translated into Greek so far, and as a result, it could be an interesting play offered to the Greek world of theatre. Answering Andrew Chesterman’s ethical question about translation research (The Map, pg 58, 59), the current translation and its commentary show the power of functional and text-oriented translation through paraphrasing (Western Translation Theory, pg. 172), through choices and tools of the target language and through its history, based on idioms and dialects of the target language, in order for the stylistic particularities to be preserved, whether and when it is feasible.

The title’s translation approach

Due to the fact that this chore poem has not officially been translated in Greek, its title should be translated as well. The title of the chore poem in English is of great importance, as it emerges by Jocelyn M. Richard’s thesis. The author, in two lines, succeeds in expressing the sense and the aim of this chore poem: black girls, to whom the chore poem is addressed to, to find themselves and their own inner beauty^v. Hence, the most appropriate translation of the title in Greek is as follows: “για τα έγχρωμα κορίτσια που σκέφτηκαν την αυτοκτονία/ενώ το ουράνιο τόξο αρκεί”. According to the author, as mentioned by Jocelyn M. Richard, the rainbow represents their color, their colored identity^vi. Thus, the rainbow symbolizes their beauty, which is enough for them to feel complete^vii.

Small letters and the typographical organization of the text

The choice made by Ntozake Shange to write the whole play using small letters was maintained to the translated text as well. According to the author, this specific choice of her to write in small letters was a personal intention for the poem not to be boring and for the letters “to dance”, in order reading not to be a passive procedure, in order the reader to participate actively^viii

It bothers me, on occasion, to look at poems where all the letters
are capitalized. It is very boring to me.^ix […] Also, I like the idea
that letters dance, not just the words dance; of course, the words
also dance. I need some visual stimulation so that reading becomes
not just a passive and more intellectual activity, but demands rigorous
participation^x.

It should also be mentioned that the form of the source text was maintained in the translated text as far as the small letters, the lack of punctuation, the structure of the text –as possible as it can be- and the number of the letters as the cases below are concerned:

WOW AAA
suggggggggggar σουυυυυυυυυυγκαρ
oooooooooooooh αααααααααααααχ.

The colors and the absence of names

The colors chosen by the author to represent the characters of the play are the colors of the rainbow. The conscious absence of names in the play and their replacement by the colors symbolize the universality of the experiences these women have, experiences any;woman can suffer, according to Jocelyn M. Richard^xi. The colors were translated based on the archetypes of the colors of the rainbow, which symbolize the play’s main characters, as Jocelyn M. Richard states; the colors replace the main characters’ names, and in this way, their experiences reflect the experiences of every woman^xii.

The dialect

Our contribution to this translation and to the didactics of similar translational works is based on the fact that this specific translation filled the gaps between the different linguistic cultures of the source and the target text, as the chore poem was written in 1974, and it is about African-American women, and its translation in Greek was conducted in Greece, in 2015. The translation of the chore poem was conducted through a totally different linguistic geography, as the Greek language differs significantly from the African-American English in 1976. The text is written using African-American English words and grammar, elements which had to be translated using Greek dialects, in order for the stylistic specialties of the source text to be maintained. Due to the nature of the source text (a chorepoem), the addressees should be taken into consideration, which means, not only the readers, but also the audience, the actors, the directors, etc. (The Map, pg 9). Our contribution regarding the didactics of translation does not lie in the procedure of assessment, but to the fact that the current thesis will be an example for other plays on stage, similar to this one, based on Greek dialects (for instance, the absence of “g” at the end of the verbs, was transferred in Greek using the dialect of Kozanitika –the Greek dialect spoken in the area of Kozani, Greece-). The dialect of Kozanitika, according to Antonis I. Thavoris, which is a part of the dialect of Northern;Greece, is a set of phonological changes and changes during word stress^xiii. For instance, when a vowel is unstressed, it can be omitted, e.g. anythin-τίπτα(tipta, instead of tipota), havin-υπάρξ(iparx, instead of iparxe)^xiv. Other types of Greek art which maintain the phonological changes, that is to say a dialect, are Yiannis Miliokas in music^xv, Alexandros Papadiamantis’ “I embori ton ethnon xanarchonte” (the play has not been yet translated in English, the translation of the title could be “the merchants of the nations are back”)^xvi in theatre, even in classic Disney’s cartoons, such as Rafiki in the movie “The Lion King”^xvii. Robert Guillaume^xviii himself stated that his character, Rafiki, is from Jamaica, and his accent is relevant to his origin^xix. Ntozake Shange chooses words such as cd, wd, waz etc., so that English can be closer to African-American culture, as C. Davida Ingram^xx mentions in her article. The type of the source text and its literary nature allow us to choose the technique of translation with latitude (Θεωρήματα για τη μετάφραση, pg 30); this way, we are able to use Greek dialects, so as “equivalence” to be achieved^xxi (Θεωρήματα για τη μετάφραση, pg 31).

Translation with latitude

Based on John Dryden (Western Translation Theory, pg 172), there are three types of translation:

• Metaphrase word by word
• Paraphrase, or translation with latitude
• and Imitation (Western Translation Theory, pg 172).

The first option is about translating word by word, the second one is about translating having a sense of freedom, which means that the translator keeps in view the author, but;the translation is not so strict; the last one is not about translating the exact words, or giving the sense of the text, but writing, supposing that the author had lived in the translator’s age and country (Western Translation Theory, pg 172, 173). As John Dryden advocated, it is impossible for a translation to be word by word and acceptable at the same time (Western Translation Theory, pg 172), thus, based on Dryden, the source text should be translated in view of the author, approaching him/her as they live during the period the translation is conducted

[…] not to translate the words, or to be confined to his sense,
but only to set him as a pattern, and to write, as he supposes
that author would have done, had he live in our age, and in
our country (Western Translation Theory, pg 173).

Therefore, translating with latitude, and using the Greek dialect of Kozanitika, as the source text is transferred/shifted to the Greek cultural reality and to its geographical aspects (“translocation” The Map, pg 9-10), are translation choices made, aiming to the most appropriate rendition of the source text, while trying to maintain the stylistic identity of it.

Names and place names’ transliteration

The names and the place names’ of the source text were all transliterated. The transliteration of the names, where was not possible to be found transliterated in Greek, was conducted based on their accent in Greek^xxii, for instance

bobby mills martin jerome & sammy yates
ο μπόμπι μιλς ο μάρτιν τζερόμ & ο σάμυ γέιτς

eddie jones & randi
ο έντι τζόουνς & ο ράντι.

As far as the place names are concerned, they can all be found in Greek, deploying internet sources, and they were used as follows:

chicago σικάγο^xxiii
detroit ντιτρόιτ^xxiv
houston χιούστον^xxv
baltimore βαλτιμόρη^xxvi
san francisco σαν φρανσίσκο^xxvii
manhattan μανχάταν^xxviii
st. louis σαιντ λούις^xxix
camden κάμντεν^xxx
mount holly μάουντ χόλι^xxxi
mercer county κομητεία μέρσερ^xxxii
south bronx σάουθ μπρονξ^xxxiii
natchez νάτσεζxxxiv
mississippi μισισίπι^xxxv

Acknowledgements

I would like to thank my supervisor, Mrs. Eleni Kassapi, for her help and guidance. Furthermore, I would like to thank Mrs. Gianfranca Stornelli and Mrs. Antonia Dalavitsou for the useful advice during the early stages of this research; Mrs. Gabriela Larrieux, for helping me with the translation of the word “jibarita”. I would also like to thank Mr. Theodoros Vavouras, for planning the footnotes and endnotes, my colleagues and critic readers of my thesis, Vassiliki Stergianou and Dimitris Tsioplos, and Mr.;Konstantinos Paleologos and Mrs. Maria Mironidou, the two of the three-member assessment committee.

Source text – Target text